He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
