i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize