Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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