im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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