did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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