Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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