i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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