I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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