ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
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