He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
