i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
