gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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