just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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