It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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