She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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