Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Randomize
