That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
