I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
