:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Randomize
