i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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