I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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