5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
