I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
