you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
look no pants
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
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