You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
