Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
