you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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