? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
