Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
