someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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