Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
time to smoke my breakfast
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
