You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
