Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
