you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Barsexuality is the new black.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
