How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
