I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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