I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
