I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
