This girl is more easily done than said...
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
