So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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