Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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