guys are not supposed to queef...right?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
