I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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