So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
