PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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