If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
