I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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