i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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