dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
