R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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